Updated: Jun 15, 2019
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve found myself telling more people than what I’d like that they ought to put themselves first and that it’s ok to do so. This once again is easier said than done because we all have people we care about and don’t want to disappoint but it is for that very reason that you care about them that you should save yourself first.
There is nothing more awesome than to be able to help the people we love but this must come from a cup that is running over and not from a cup that barely has anything in it. A lot of people think and feel that it is shameful to be selfish, but it is indeed a prerequisite for sustained happiness. By selfish I don’t mean being all about yourself, but I am talking about being selfish enough, so you can improve yourself and do all that you can for the work you desperately need to do in order that you can be more valuable to the very same people you care about. This means setting boundaries and learning to say no in certain situations simply because you have a long term vision remembering that people with a 90 degree vision will never be able to comprehend a person with a 360 degree vision and so in your journey of improving your life situation; be it financial, business or social; expect backlash from the very same people you care about and believe me when I say that this is normal. The only people that get mad at you for setting boundaries are the people that benefited from you having none.
You must save yourself first before you try to save other people, and this is major pitfall for many people who are trying to build something substantial for the people they care about but struggle to do simply because the people they care about feel entitled to them and their lives. You owe it to yourself and to the people you care about to unapologetically set boundaries all because of a grander vision that people do not see and be willing to risk losing people along the journey who refuse to understand. All they will do is starve and then ultimately kill your progress.
The door was for you to walk through and this is what you must do, and then only do you come back later and get the people you might have had to leave behind. You can’t expect to grow and stay the same simultaneously. Expect resistance the moment you try to head in a new direction, this is normal.
“Your conviction and your convenience don’t live on the same street.”